I honestly feel like I should give up at this point. I tried to do something simple: grocery shopping for the week…and I got too nervous to really go out and buy shit. I’m too scared to cook, even though I’ve done it a bit before, and I’m definitely too scared to do it or shop in front of my housemates anymore.

And it’s so fucking stupid, since I’ve shopped with them before.

But I can’t do it. I’m going to fuck it up, I’m going to buy the wrong foods, or the wrong types of foods…I’m going to make subpar choices, and even if my friends don’t make fun of me for them, I’ll feel shitty for being such a fuckup.

After not going to the grocery, I sat in my room, and I pondered on how inept I am at managing my own life. I’m not cut out for adulthood. My room is a mess; I haven’t even finished moving in and it’s been weeks. I gave up on cleaning the house, because I’m not good at that shit anyway. I gave up on eating, because I can’t even get groceries for myself. Slowly I’m just giving up on living. Giving up, just as I’ve done with everything ever.