I went to the counseling center today saying I had an emergency. I hadn’t eaten in two days. Well. I was lying about that one. I need to at least try and be honest with myself. I had eaten little in two-three days. Not meals, or anything worthwhile. Certainly not enough to sustain myself.

But I checked in with an emergency, and talked to a different therapist. I went through, and discussed all of my problems from the beginning, which was healthy in and of itself. But I got some things accomplished:

• I’m going to move into my house properly - A lot of things that were stable in my life have changed. My relationship with V went from just friends, to sexual, back to just friends; I moved out of the dorms to a real house; I switched back from working all the time to going to school; and some of my relationships with friends have changed significantly. With all of this flux, this will give me a stable base to hold on to.
• I’m going to look into a group to find substitutes for my cutting in the fall

I also realized some things:

• I do have ways to relate to people: the shitty TV I watch
• I should ask to do more things that have physical effects that provide me with tangible measures of success

I’m going to start updating this everyday, and when my mood changes as well. V was right, I should keep this up to date with feeling good as well as feeling bad.