trying to find a reason to wake up every morning.

Hey.

This tumblr is mostly my way of trying to deal with all of my negative feelings. I've been living with some kind of depression most of my life, and it's gotten significantly worse over the past year. I'm trying to use writing as a way to get all of my feelings out, and deal with them healthily, as opposed to certain other ways I normally deal with depression.

I'm sorry if anything here sounds totally emo, childish, or flat out retarded. But this is how I feel, and I'm trying my best to get better.

But my best clearly just isn't good enough.

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I got upset yesterday because as much as I try and connect with people on OkCupid, I never get a reply back. It’s the dumbest reason ever, and the fact that I’m upset over that makes me feel even worse about myself.

I’ve realized that I don’t know how to be social with people. I’m socially retarded. I can’t connect with people, or flirt, or meet new people or any of the things that normal people can do. I just don’t know how to do any of it. And instead of learn how to do that at college, I just kept fucking it up there too.

I’m fucked when I get into the real world. These are just skills that I’ll never have, and I’m just going to end up alone. No friends, no family, no one. Why is it even worth living anymore? The hell do I have to look forward to? I honestly can’t think of anything anymore.

PRINT THIS POST WORDS: 7/20/11 — 4:16pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZvwAVx7KCsOs